2009

2009 has unfortunately been the fourth year in the row when major horrible things have happened so I am glad to see the back of it in every way. This time for the first time, those horrible things have been both personal and business related rather than just personal. I've moved on from the business part though as it's just not worth dwelling on. The year has ended badly too as I had to cancel my 9th IVF cycle I had booked for January 2010 as a direct result of what was done to my business by a third party.  The email that I sent to the clinic last week doing that was probably the worst thing I've had to do for a very long time especially as I've been waiting 26 months for this cycle but I had no choice.

We started this year with a big positive - 3 weeks in Florida for Charlie and I in January. We had a wonderful time, much needed break for me and perfect for us to reconnect and Charlie turned 11 there. It all seems so far away now! Charlie asked to learn guitar so I bought him one and he's been having lessons from next door and seems to be doing very well.

March saw the business finally leaving my house and moving in to premises which was a big relief all round. In April I got a year older (groan) and we got two dogs from the RSPCA.

We spent Spring and summer having lots of days out and some great walks with the dogs too. Charlie has come along leaps and bounds with his Maths again this year. He's had some moments where the penny has obviously dropped for him which has been lovely to see.

He's very definitely growing into a young man. He has growth spurts all the time and is needing new clothes almost at the same frightening rate as he did when he was a toddler! Even his feet have grown which hadn't happened for almost 18 months. He still sucks his thumb though which has surprised me considering he turns 12 in 15 days time but despite my fears that he'd need a brace because of it, he doesn't and his teeth were declared perfect by the dentist. He's a very interesting mix of baby and young man, he still adores all his cuddly toys but takes on responsibilities beautifully and can be trusted to do so much now.

He surprised me a few months ago when he asked for Galore Park Secondary level Maths. Actually surprised is a bit of an understatement! But, to give him his dues, he has coped very well with it so far even though we are only a couple of chapters in. He is loving the secondary level History, English etc which go with the Geography and Science he already had.

It's hard to believe he will be 12 in 15 days time, harder to believe that I am old enough to have a 12 year old, in 6 years he could be gone,  but as we head into 2010, I know that he is growing into the most amazing young man and that makes me very proud.

Christmas 2009

Lisa worked the 21st and I did 22nd & 23rd, both times I was in and out in less than an hour which was fab and Christmas work wise has been a million times calmer and better than last year. I've worked less hours and whilst at times it has been stresful, it almost seems like nothing compared to last year. Being able to have the premises and even better, the employee in the premises rather than both in the house has been priceless. Just having the space to pack properly means that parcels can be done in half the time. Fantastic.

Consequently this means that home life has been much better this Christmas. The Christmas tree was bought the first weekend in December rather than a few days before Christmas Day, and Charlie and I have had time to do stuff together. We've had a few rocky moments but overall, so much nicer than last year.

I had some dental surgery on the 16th December which has definitely affected everything as I really suffered this time with pain right up until Christmas Eve. I was overdosing on ibruprofen and paracetamol every single day just to be able to barely function. It was horrid. The sleeping sedation also wiped me out completely which was also a new side effect. I can barely remember anything of that day and managed to wipe my new site after being stupid enough to do some work when I got home!

So, Christmas Eve started with giving Charlie his Christmas Eve hamper which went down a storm. This is my new tradition and is an extension of new pj's that I always wrapped and gave in the evening of Christmas Eve. After breakfast we started work on the Gingerbread House Kit I got in Selfridges, had lunch, did the star biscuits, watched some xmas films, played some games etc Charlie had a bath, I had a shower, we donned our new xmas pj's, we popped popcorn, made our snowman soup (hot chocolate with squirty cream, mini marshmallows and chocolate drops) and watched Santa Buddies and then Charlie went off to bed. Lovely, lovely day.

Christmas Day and Charlie woke at 7.45am and came in to my room and we opened stockings. Charlie love his wooden puzzle box and his other bits and pieces, particularly the Disney Pin I picked up in Florida in January for his collection.

Downstairs and we let the dogs out and then opened presents. Charlie loved his DSi, Meccano set, puzzle ball, DVD, DS game, Bear Grylls books from my Godsons mother and National Geographic subscription from my best friend and 3 Wii games from my brother and his GF.

Charlie got me a new Willow Tree ornament, the new Dan Brown book, box of Hotel Chocolat chocolates, Next & Debenhams gift cards and fruit and nut toblerone.

I made Jamie Olivers Christmas Pancakes for breakfast which were yummy and then we went over to my parents around 11am. Lovely lunch and more presents, lego and Cambridge Brain Box kit and some other bits for Charlie and then we came back around 3pm and walked the dogs. By the time it was 4pm I was starting to feel really ill and fell asleep on the sofa for an hour which is really unlike me. Charlie helped my Dad take my Nan back to the care home and we had a light tea and then early bed for both of us.

Boxing Day and we went into town as Charlie wanted to spend some Christmas money. It wasn't very busy really, much busier when we went back on Monday!

Apart from going into town again on Monday where Charlie got two cd's and 3 DS games for £60 in HMV we've just slobbed out at home since. Very nice and relaxing tbh. We've spent every day in pj's since Monday.

Will add photos tomorrow.

Nearly over for another year

Quick catch-up on last week, Monday and Tuesday I can't remember much of, mostly lying around in bed as my back had gone again the previous week meaning weekend plans with friend and London trip had to be cancelled :(

On Tuesday we took apart Charlie's bunks to make them into 2 single beds and put one bed in the spare room along with his tv, dvd player and his PS2 and the Wii was also moved up there from downstairs. Am planning a crafty flat screen tv purchase in the sales for that room. His bedroom now looks much bigger and better and we've been surfing the web for ideas for new bedding, rug and bits and pieces.

Wednesday we were up at 6am to leave at 7.15am to get to the dental surgery in Oxford so I could have a tooth out under sleeping sedation. Of course, if the referral hadn't taken 4 months to come through, I could have just had a filing and kept my tooth but by the time the bloody NHS had got its act together it was too late. I had a lovely sleep and consequently remember almost nothing of Wednesday except wiping everything from my brand new website which is supposed to be launched. That will be why they tell you not to do anything important like work or sign legal papers for 24 hours then. Sigh.

I've been in serious pain ever since, am taking painkillers every two hours and couldn't open my jaw to eat for 3 days but apart from that....

Friday morning I dragged us out of bed early to be at the Mall by 8.30, took some paperwork to the Council offices, got some last minute Christmas bits in, did a food shop and a dog food shop and then made it home. I was in no fit state to be doing any of that but I knew at that point if it snowed even another inches worth the muppet wagon wouldn't be able to get off the drive and I didn't want a repeat of this year when we got back from Florida and promptly got snowed in the house with no food!

Saturday we had a lovely pj's, sofa and movies day and watched various films on Sky. I am loving the new Sky+, being able to pause tv is so much fun and very handy!

Sunday was a particularly bad day pain wise :( Managed to do a bit hoovering and cleaning and changed the beds and got through a few loads of washing. Then I just collapsed in a pained heap and watched Brothers & Sisters d/l's on my Macbook.

Today I was pretty much at the warehouse all day. So many expedited delivery orders over the weekend. Everything got sent, ebay sale has gone very well too. I will go in tomorrow as there are more orders and I let Lisa finish today and then hopefully there won't be any orders on the 23rd.

I won't be here at 2pm

Famous last words!

I had NO intentions of going into work again as I am really enjoying how much calmer and nicer it is this year with the business being gone. I am actually seeing December and I like it. But when my Dad came over at 9am to help me put the boy dogs ear drops in (poor sod has an absolute raging ear infection) he kindly gave me 4 parcels to send for him. He has been selling some Bronica (sp?) camera equipment on ebay that he no longer uses and has made £700 - he is thrilled as this means he can afford the specialist £860 printer that he wants.

So, I dispatched Charlie upstairs to do his work (GP secondary level) all was fine and he is very excited about doing the Geography field study (he's had the Geography for a few months now) and I whizzed through the accounts and banking and we left around 10.35 and were just beaten by Lisa arriving early.

Charlie was in the back room finishing off his work, Dad's parcels packed, my Secret Santa present wrapped and sent, stock control done, orders printed off and Courier booked and then whilst Lisa packed I started to work on the fix for the previously mentioned SQL database error.

I was in the middle of fixing it when I noticed it was now 12.00 so sent Charlie to the cafe to get lunch and breezily explained to Lisa that as I wouldn't still be here at 2pm could she please print off the rest of the orders and mark as shipped as its settlement day.

At 1.50pm she laughed out loud and said "of course you won't still be here at 2pm when the Courier comes will you" I resisted the urge to throw a box at her ;)

SQL problem fixed and then at 1.30pm Packing Partner broke - I resisted the urge to scream. So downloaded fix for that and then went back to trying to install the evaluation of the stock control system now that the SQL was fixed - it threw up a new problem. I am awaiting their tech supports help now.

I sent Lisa home at 2pm and then we left around 2.30 as just before I went to leave I noticed Mr Bubbles needed replenishing so parcels could be packed tomorrow.

Dinosaur model out on the road had extra bits to his torso today so that was exciting and we found out they are being filmed for a documentary which is why no-one can go down one particular corridor between 7pm-7am at the moment.

Home and flopped. Charlie has K'Nex'd more, Meccano'd and lamented that his thesaurus and dictionary are lacking so he couldn't finish his English GP as the thesaurus didn't have the word in that he needed to look up. Must rectify that with trip to bookshop.

Second only to...

Fed up with my beloved sons moaning about being made to do work for school years beneath the one he would be in, last week I ordered GP Maths, Science, History & English in the first books of the secondary series. Science, History & English he could do in his sleep at that level but I think in about 20 Maths pages time he will regret moaning! He asked, he got, sometimes you learn to regret asking for things.

So, up as usual this morning, work, afore mentioned GP books arrived, Charlie did an exercise or 2 of each, played with some K-nex motors after his brand-new-only-arrived-yesterday Meccano set was confiscated as a punishment, he dealt with the dogs, I dealt with work stuff and parent stuff and then after lunch we dashed off to the unit as I needed to try and install some trial software.

That failed - @£$%&!!! stupid Windows machines - I could have kicked it. Someone NEEDS to sort out proper stock and order management software for Macs, please!

So we left after an hour had passed and I had unpacked our second delivery from a new supplier. We marvelled at the new animatronic dinosaur model outside Avalon Studios - they make the Walking with Dinosaurs models - we love that they are on our business village as there is always exciting stuff around to look at and they sometimes let Charlie go in and watch a model being molded or having something done to it. Also found out they are putting on an exhibition type thing on Oxford Street next year - they've made 24 dinosaurs for that. Lovely people too.

Popped round the corner to go to Tescos, didn't buy anything though, wanted to look at a Flip video camer IRL and also checked out a few other bits and pieces. Back home for dinner and have been stuck upstairs working ever since.

It's December

Which apparently means that no "normals" or anything even remotely resembling work is getting done. Hmmm. Not entirely sure I have the energy to enforce it either.

My mother is at it again. But that I mean, not so subtle attempts to persuade me to send him to school. A few weeks ago we were at their house and she "secretly" took me into the dining room and told me that she'd seen in the local paper that a lovely private school in Brackley was giving full fee bursaries away and it's a lovely school and wouldn't that be good and she thought I'd be interested. I gave her a look, said no and walked out of the room. Then about two weeks later at my parents anniversary "do" my Aunt not-so-subtley asked if I was still HE'ing him and hadn't I thought it was better to send him to school now he is of secondary age. So obviously put up to it by my mother.

I am sick to death of the constant undermining and it isn't even restricted to HE/school.

Not much other news as nothing ever happens here HE wise as no groups or HE friends. Charlie is starting to get more and more lonely to the stage where it is seriously affecting his behaviour. Poor little man :( I've said it before a million times but it's still true, I hate living in this stupid County. Plans to move in 2010 have most likely been scuppered in the most despicable way by an outsider which just makes everything worse as we are both desperate to move somewhere where there are HE people/groups.

After a weekend of brain storming and pondering, we decided to try something new. I went into the warehouse on Sunday afternoon and did what I would normally do on a Monday morning. Charlie watched the children of the dinosaur people on their quad bikes and was very mournful. He had a little cry about loosing Anna and not having seen "the girls" much this year, I think watching the dinosaur children have so much fun together reminded him :(

That, coupled with some other events this year has really made me determined to get away from here where there is just nothing HE-wise going on. We're completely cut off here and this means he only gets to be anywhere near other children at Karate or playing out in the close, which isn't happening much at the moment due to the weather. We're both lonely, we've both been dropped by so called friends and it's starting to affect us. Too much loss for one year. So I've started looking seriously at nice places to go and live, that fit what I want, have a good HE scene but won't be full of painful reminders. Charlie is bordering on being deeply unhappy I think.

So, the plan behind going into the warehouse on Sunday meant that I didn't have to go into work on Monday and could spend the day catching up on paperwork, ordering stock, more paperwork, some housework and spending time with Charlie. He had some more tears this afternoon about having lost Anna and not seen the girls either, so we had a long cuddle and a chat. I don't think I was very comforting as I am very cynical about friendships but I tried hard. It's difficult to know what to say. It's so hard seeing him that upset.

He didn't do any work today but changed his bed linen and did some hoovering and tidying. We're also trying out a new system for his work too, so we'll see how that goes. He's nearly at the end of 3B in Maths and 4A arrived on Friday and I got a bit scared when I looked at it so we might leave that for a while and do some much easier GP maths instead. It seems like a huge jump from 3B to 4A - what were they thinking??

He's bombing through English, Science, History, Geography, NVR, VR etc etc everything is easy for him and, dare I say it, he even pretty much bombs through Maths too once he understands what is being asked.

I really won't be going in to the warehouse on Mondays at all any more unless there is some kind of emergency. I'm trying to keep my visits there down to once a week, so far this "Christmas" is a million times better than last and it seems to me that just having the space to spread out properly means you can do twice the number of parcels in half the time. Everything is so much easier. I'm taking on another 300 sqft in January which will help loads, very lucky that the unit next to me is empty and so they can knock through and give me 300sqft of the space. We now have our Royal Mail collection back at a fantastic time of day and with Yorks and one dedicated driver who cannot do enough to help. Already this has made a huge difference in 3 days.

I've got a dental assessment appointment in bloody Oxford on Thursday and then Swine Flu jab on Saturday morning. Off to London on Monday afternoon, staying overnight and then seeing an immunological disease specialist on Tuesday and heading home. We're planning to hit Harrods as this is Charlie's favourite place in London, see the Christmas lights, milkshakes at the best diner in London, maybe make it to the Tate Modern, going to the Apple store and perhaps Hamleys too. It's going to be a fun trip rather than educational (except for the part where I have 20 vials of blood taken!) and we're treating it as a mini-break. Dogs will be in kennels until Wednesday so that is all taken care of. I might see if I can book us on a London Eye night flight as we've done a day flight twice.

I will treat Charlie to a meal in Yo Sushi! too as he loves, loves, loves sushi. I am actually looking forward to it, here's hoping it will be a nice little break.

Dear Mr Ed Balls and the DCSF

My son spent a total of two school years and a term at two different schools. He went happily into reception 4 months before his fifth birthday and within weeks, in retrospect, was a completely different child. He was a bright, happy child with amazing verbal and comprehension skills and he could even add up. He had a complete love of learning, had constantly been asking deep and probing questions since he could talk and just wanted to know everything about everything. Adults, even strangers, loved to talk to him and people everywhere we went constantly mentioned how bright and interesting he was. He loved life, loved people and just enjoyed being.

He quickly became very, very bored and frustrated at school. He learned to read within weeks and had finished the entire ORT reading scheme books in the middle of the second term of reception. He was frustrated to be restricted by the system, the "right" way of doing things, when all he wanted to do was learn and expand and grow. By the time he was in Year 1, he couldn't add up even the simplest of sums. 2+4 = impossible for him. Something happened to him in school which meant that even now, 3 months from his 12th birthday and five years since I removed him from school, Maths is a constant, uphill struggle for him and it shouldn't be.

He started ripping up Maths worksheets and refusing to do them. He escaped out of classrooms and went missing for up to 4 hours at a time, with 20 adults looking for him. This didn't happen once, but ten times.

He was assessed by an Ed Psych at the insistence of the school. I think they were fairly disappointed when the Ed Psych declared there was nothing wrong with him and his IQ was in the top 2% of the population. The Ed Psych put the ball firmly back in the schools court and yet he still continued to struggle. He stopped talking at one point at the age of 6. He was miserable, talked weekly about wanting to die and how "bad" he was, how he was always in trouble at school so he must be "evil" and "naughty" and "the worst child in the world" and "stupid".

So no, Mr Ed Balls, I will not stop fighting you and this government. It's been a long journey, but he is finally happy again. He still struggles with Maths a lot, but every month sees a small improvement. One day he may even be at the level he is "supposed" to be for his age.

It's home education that has healed him, that has given me back my son. I would rather move to the other side of the world than let the system back into our lives. I will keep on fighting for my right to keep my son whole.

Charlie has had renewed enthusiasm for Education City recently so I bought a subscription and set him a challenge which he is currently completely on course to meet. He's powering his way through all the games in his current level which is no mean feat on a Vista laptop!

I just realised the other day that I haven't heard him practice his guitar for ages recently so have plans to restart that as a regular thing asap and get back in to more of a routine as due to Lisa's holiday and various other reasons, things have been seriously unstructured around here lately.

We're going to look around the Oxford Montessori Farm School in a few weeks as they allow home educators to access their lessons on individual subjects leading to GCSE's if you wish. I'm thinking of Maths for him and maybe Environmental Management too as I am sure he would absolutely love that.

I've also found the possibility of a Latin group in the village so need to contact them and find out if they will allow children to attend too as Charlie is keen to learn Latin.

No clever title - again

I have been blogging, twittering & facebooking like mad for non personal reasons so though it was time to redress the balance.

Since I last blogged we have done all sorts. Joined the NT after letting membership expire by mistake, so have been to two of my favourite places with D,B & A. Waddesdon Manor was as fantastic as ever, lovely grounds and fantastic new play areas in the wooded hillside with great zip wire that Charlie loved but Anna didn't want to try. They both loved the very steep slide and the big doughnut type swing thingy. Fab ice-cream too and the gardens and house as lovely as ever.

Stowe Landscape Gardens was the second place we all went and we even got to take the dogs with us which they loved. We all loved it too and the tea room visit at the end was particularly lovely. We didn't make it all the way round as the place is HUGE, more than 400 acres. I loved all the water and lakes and the monuments were just beautiful. It's a shame for me at least, that it was so hot again that day as it meant I started flagging at the same time the children did and I had just had enough after 3 hours. Too hot by far and not loads of shade to be had everywhere.

The dogs were so tired they fell asleep in the car on the way back and Megan had her head on Charlie's leg whilst she slept!

We also went to Cadbury World with B&A which was surprisingly interesting and another lovely day out. Oh and a fab meal out with them on Wednesday - our local multi-storey is giving away 2for 1 Pizza Express vouchers, so they were well received.

Lisa went on holiday just over a week ago so I have had the shock of packing parcels and doing the delivery office run. Finding it all very stressful and having to stay up very late at night to get all that done and all the usual admin things I do whilst she packs. Of course on top of all that there is one house to clean and run, food shopping to do, one child to educate and two dogs to look after. I have NO idea how I coped without staff (or a partner quite frankly!) before and frankly by the next time she goes on holiday there will be another employee to take over. Still got another week to go before she is back and I have slid into exhaustion, constant headaches and insomnia coupled by then falling asleep and not being able to wake up! Charlie hasn't made it to karate once since Lisa went on holiday, just not enough time in the day.

So on Monday I was up at 7 and we were at the unit around 8am. So many parcels that I packed solidly until 12 when I had to stop for Courier and then carried on until I finally finished around 1.30pm. Was a useless mess by the time we got home.

Tuesday we left home at 8am and spent the day with Merry & the girls, lovely as usual. I was totally floored by exhaustion by the time we got back at 10.20pm and fell asleep within minutes.

Wednesday was a mad rush day to pack parcels and take to delivery office and then make it in time to meet B&A at Pizza Express for lunch. Lovely lunch and we walked to the Mall together and did some shopping. After we got home Charlie went next door to play with A as she had bought new Nancy Drew pc game. Picked up my new flyers which B designed for me and they look amazing!

Thursday I can't remember but it obviously involved packing parcels etc Moved stock room around a bit, filling up the 3 bays we have free now that some stock has gone. Still not got enough shelving bays to unpack absolutely everything and struggling for somewhere to put Gund Christmas stock as teddies and stocking etc in poly bags tend to slip off shelves and not stack well!

Friday was more packing parcels etc then got blocked in at the unit for 40 minutes by some stupid woman on an interview at one of the big IT companies. Grrrrr. Food shopping in Waitrose and I booked some RI lectures too.

Saturday more work, but on the laptop, mainly boring SEO stuff etc Went shopping in the afternoon, bought Charlie a mobile, had cake and drink in M&S and found myself some new clothes too. Of course it was X Factor night so A came round. A insisted I do a fashion show with new clothes as I bought them in her fave shop. My mega-trendy mum status shot up even further as she wants my clothes!

Today we had healthy Slimming World style brunch "fry up", very nice but I was extremely annoyed that the mini pancakes I bought in Waitrose on Friday afternoon were mouldy! Nipped to P@H to buy frozen mince for dogs and popped into Tesco for a few bits. More work this afternoon and evening.

Catch Up - Again

As I have spent most of July stressing about business and planning new websites, blogging and any social interaction has definitely suffered. But now, the new website has been purchased, the software uploaded to it, all the products added and I am about a quarter of the way through adding the product images.

So now that life being consumed by business is happening less I thought it was about time to start blogging again.

We enjoyed a rather fantastic time at next door's 4th July BBQ, also entertaining to spend time there and then A and Charlie had a sleepover before they all went back home to America for two weeks. In the two weeks whilst they were gone Charlie mainly did stuff with his stamps, made story boards for films, watched a lot of Star Wars & Star Trek and played with lego. It rained every single day they were away so some of our plans for days out had to be aborted.

My brother and his gf came down to stay at my parents for the night a few weeks ago. We all had a lovely meal out and then back to my parents for chat and gossip. Kellie and I talked about all things baby as she is 18 ish weeks pregnant. Very strange to think of my brother being a Daddy.

Next door returned a week ago and A has been over here a few times and Charlie over there, and they have played very happily. We all went into town for a lovely walk around Spiceball Park on Wednesday and then stopped for ice-cream at the village shop on the way home.

For the first time ever I agreed to let Charlie have the "holidays" off from doing work. With the exception of Maths which has to do three times a week. He is surprisingly happy about this and is really coming along very nicely now with only very rare moments of upset when he can't work things out. We are using a mixture of Galore Park and Singapore at the moment and it seems to be working well.

Dogs are all fine, off to the groomers this Friday at last, Dodger can barely see so it is long overdue.

Catch Up

Thursday - a good day, not sure what we did apart from going to my parents to give my dad his Father's Day Hamper as they were due to go off on hols again. Hamper went down well so I was pleased and am forging ahead with plans to do one for everyone at Christmas. 

My dad showed Charlie how to water all his eleventy million pots whilst they are away. He is being £5 a day for doing this. It's taking him about 30 minutes every night as they are soooo many pots and many are rare/exotic/expensive type plants that need special care or something.

Karate in the evening for Charlie which went well.

Friday - I don't remember much apart from the update to the website finally going live with the new feature, so I was pleased about that.

Saturday - I woke up in immense pain with my right eye being hugely swollen and really hurting again and barely being able to swallow plus aching all over. I was practically sobbing, particularly when I found a lump on my eyeball. I took a multitude of drugs all day and didn't move from the bed as I just felt so rough so watched my Lost Season 1 DVD's whilst my lovely boy bought my constant glasses of water and all my meals.

Sunday - Was much the same really, still felt really awful so remained in bed watching Lost. Felt a little better by the evening and supervised the last 2 minutes of Charlie cooking spag bol sauce from scratch and then hobbled back to bed. Aching limbs were the worst problem.

Monday - Felt much better and so we went off to Oxford for a few hours. Realised after about 2 hours that I wasn't as recovered as I thought though and was exhausted by the time we got home at 4pm. No Karate for Charlie as I couldn't face the thought of leaving the house again. Weigh in this morning and have lost 2 Ibs so very pleased.

Tuesday - Managed some work on the site, mainly uploading new products. Had to spend a few hours reinstalling OS X on my Macbook though. Still it is all running much better now even though it was a complete PITA to redownload all my extras etc. Nowhere near the hassle of doing it all on a Windows machine though, loved the way it was so easy to just instantly have all my email and mail settings and bookmarks back to the way they should be in a about two clicks of the mouse. Finally also got around to setting up Time Machine.

Got Charlie to browse the Lego shop website and write down the catalogue numbers of Star Wars lego he would like for Christmas. Always have to get him motivated early on this as he is not a particularly toy orientated child and never asks for anything and has to be pushed. Its nice to see him enjoying a toy again though after he bought a large lego set with his birthday money back in January.

Wednesday - Charlie did his normals etc whilst I worked for a bit and then we dashed out to Tesco for new clothes airer, summer duvet for me, lined paper for Charlie's project, some page protectors, and a few groceries. Charlie spent some of his money of a small Star Wars lego set too.

Met up with B and walked down to the bus top with her to collect Anna and then we went to the pub for a drink and a chat and the children also had crisps. In the winter we had got into the habit of doing this most weeks and having hot chocolate as the pub is also a hotel. Bit warm for hot choc today so pints of cold soft drinks were consumed instead. Anna walked back with us whilst A went to the village shop and they played for a bit before my brother called as his GF had her 12 week scan today so he was calling to tell Charlie that she was pregnant as they hadn't want him to know until this scan. Charlie very pleased with the news but then told my mum off for lying to him about it and how upset he was that he was the last in our family to find out.

Had a pleasant conversation with my brother about various things and was able to reassure him about the various tests the nurse was trying to push them into having, about due dates and the size of the baby. Discussed the trip that we will make to Oz next year too. His GF is Australian and they are planning to move there in October. Baby is due in January so will share its birth month with Charlie. Charlie very much looking forward to having his first cousin and future baby cuddles.

Quite Frankly

Good day today. Well apart from some jerk telling me I couldn't park on the road outside the unit because he had a lorry coming with pallets. I was on the opposite side of the road to his unit and about 50m in front of the boundary. I didn't move and his lorry didn't turn up in the time I was there. Some people are just unreal. Moaning to me because other people park in front of their storage unit when I was nowhere near it. There was no way on earth I was going to move when really his beef was with the business that has a garage right next to his storage unit but rather than put their massive van in their garage they park outside it. But he can't say anything, and rightly so, because they have as much right to park there as I do where I did.

Ugh, I hate parking politics and I hate being told I can't do something with no good reason.

Anyway, spent an hour and a half at the unit sorting some stuff out so that is my visit for the week over and done with. Placed some orders and made some progress on a new minor feature on AT. Minor in terms of its not very exciting, but major as it is proven to increase conversion by up to 50%

Charlie finished his normals when we got back and then after lunch we settled down to watch our latest DVD rental which is the BBC adaption of Anne Frank. We are four parts in with one part to go tomorrow and its pretty good. Somehow I managed to grow up and never read it so we are on the look for a completely unabridged and unchanged version for both of us to read. We both were confused by the fact that the mother declared they were German, so want to try and find out why they were in Amsterdam and not living in Germany.

Today was, thankfully, a bit calmer. I still slept in later than I had planned due to not sleeping well yet again. Consequently this meant I didn't really get into my prime until lunchtime.

But anyway, started the day with writing a letter to the insurance broker letting him know I wouldn't be renewing the business policy at the end of the month and then sending Charlie round to my parents for a stamp. Charlie had finished all his normals by 9.30am, so was in a cheery mood. He read a lot and watched more Star Wars DVD's and did his usual sterling job of making lunch. He also did some more of the Klutz drawing thingy - it was mugs and pitchers today and he came up with some very inventive stuff.

In an effort to be more organised I spent a few hours on my household manual so at least now all the important phone numbers are in one place and neatly typed up to boot. I have been meaning to do this for ages for several reasons, one being that if anything were to happen to me, Charlie doesn't yet know my parents or neighbours phone number by heart. This way he can just grab the binder and it's all there for him. He can also look in there for a reminder of when birthdays/anniversaries are coming up too as he get SO upset when he forgets to make cards despite my constant reminders. I am beginning to think he really is a "visual" person in some ways, not all though as he can be told something interesting and remember it for years afterwards.

Nice afternoon walk with the dogs and Beth came along too. She had kindly mowed our front lawn this morning when she was doing hers too.

I am back on my diet in a very strict way after I have plateau'd hideously since coming back from Florida. I am planning to make it to Brno this year for more IVF (hopefully no later than October) and at least want to loose another stone to get me back to pre-Florida weight and hopefully loose some extra lbs too.

Mental Monday

Some very complicated and rather terrifying mental maths went on at a very ungodly hour this morning. I'm surprised the shock didn't kill me. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry about the fact that I don't know if his conclusion was anywhere near correct due to my own seriously appalling maths ability. It wasn't maths for maths sake though, which made me smile, he was trying to work out something to do with either boats or some physics type thing. Why does he always pick the middle of the night to do these amazingly educational things when I don't have a hope in hell of remembering what on earth it was?!

I'm still sleeping really badly so was rather bad tempered this morning, I don't know if its the heat or stress but I am constantly waking up several times each night.

I am still disturbed by my dad walking past my bedroom window every morning and shouting good morning whilst I lie in bed! I surprised him this morning as I heard him coming and shouted abuse about Rolly (his new rescue dog)!

By the time I dragged myself out of bed Charlie had finished all his normals and was re-reading a book from Sonlight Core 2 - A Little Princess I think it was. It actually looks quite good and he suggested I should read it, so I might.

News came in from the developer that they had managed to make the change I wanted to Anara Toys, so that cheered me up, although it can't go live yet as they need the FTP details, which are at the warehouse.

Also had a long conversation with the other developer that will be writing my stock control & business admin system, it looks like it will be tricky but also probably not as expensive as I had imagined which is always a good thing.

I've also had a long think about the business direction and have made some decisions there. When the redesign is done and the site is moved to new software I will be making a fairly major change to the direction of Anara Toys. Just Dolls is perfectly placed and doesn't need anything doing direction wise apart from bringing in all the rest of the planned suppliers, although it will also be getting moved to a new cart and getting a redesign. The third and fourth websites are coming along nicely in the planning stage and I have sourced some really exciting new suppliers for those, ones which very few other companies have here.

I do quite hate Mondays. Always seem to be rushing around to make sure dinner is cooked and we have finished eating by 5pm as its Karate day. Ditto Thursdays.

We walked the dogs for what felt like ages this afternoon and it was so hot. We were walking at a fairly fast pace though and all four of us collapsed when we got back. Charlie watched a Star Wars DVD on his laptop, then we had dinner and then off to Karate. I went to Tesco to do the shopping and then picked him up. I was really proud to see him perform a series of moves perfectly and receive praise from the Sensei. Impressive considering he has only been going for a few weeks and other children who are graded and have belts were being corrected.

Charlie has an interesting grace about him which is unusual for a boy I think. Sometimes some of the moves look incredibly graceful and almost ballet like when he does them. I can see why he is so good at Karate with this natural grace. The Sensei have commented on it and said he is doing really well. He loves it so that is good. I think there is a grading due soon so it will be interesting if they think he is good enough to try for his first belt. I suspect that they won't let him as he has only had a few lessons - maybe 8 now. He is absolutely fine with their position on only letting people try for a grading if they truly believe they will pass. Charlie does not like to fail, so this is good!

Sunday Sunday

Today started far too early again but lovely Charlie did bring me breakfast in bed at 7.30 so I managed to doze for a few more hours before starting to get lunch ready and tidy up a bit. Luckily we had done most of the tidying last night so Charlie just did the hoovering whilst I decluttered my wardrobe and managed to finally pack away some maternity clothes and babygros that were hanging around on the shelf in there. New boxes from Ikea were the perfect fit and wardrobe now looking like something in a de-cluttering book. Martha Stewart would be proud.

Mum and Dad arrived at 1pm and Mum helped me divert disaster with the veg - the steamer stopped working and the roast chicken and potatoes were slowly getting cold waiting! Lovely lunch and chatting although Charlie a pain for some reason.

Told M&D I am off to Scotland if these ludicrous proposals go through. Unbelievably they didn't think I was mad but Mum believes that the government will never have the balls to put it through and thinks they are just desperately scrabbling around in an effort to make themselves look better after Baby P etc. I am not so convinced. Being a lesbian, home educating single parent whose child never has any contact anymore with his father does not put me in a good position. Too many minorities for one small family, I can already see the persecution.

Thankfully right now I am still off the radar completely (a huge plus of having withdrawn him from a private school & then moved 100 odd miles away almost 2 years later) My GP never, ever remembers he is HE'd so I don't think it's in his notes either. He was way too old to be on the health visitors radar when we moved here, and in fact never see the HV where we lived before either.

I don't have anything to hide but I have seen first hand in my old job, the every day assumptions and mistakes that Social Workers constantly make in Care cases and I refuse to let there even be at 1% chance of that happening to us. People asking them for help and their children taken away, childrens comments misinterpreted completely, innocent parents prosecuted and loosing everything. Even parents whom have made mistakes in the past, desperately working hard to change and that still not being good enough.

I'm concerned enough to have started to make plans for a potential move, and if it becomes necessary I will do it. I've never, ever wanted to live up North, but I have to protect our family life. It would be so easy for Charlie to be ordered into school as he is so behind the NC guidelines for maths. Of course the fact is way ahead in every other subject would be ignored. I reckon he would last two weeks before doing something to get himself expelled. I know that he would do everything in his power to get himself expelled. He isn't stupid, and in fact is clever enough to make a plan in advance and follow it through. Hell, he did it at age 6. Planning each night how he could sneak out of the classroom the next day without being seen and going missing in the school grounds for hours at a time, and he did it. Not once did he get caught actually sneaking out! God only knows what he would do at 11 to avoid school.

That, and the whole thing truly frightens me, probably in a way that is hard for many people, even other HE'ers to understand. Being a lesbian is already considered weird, unnatural and a million other negative things, being a lesbian with a child even more so. So many prejudices out there from officials, so many obstacles in our way to make families, legal, medical and social. It's already standard practice to make examples out of us, to punish us in ways that don't happen to straight women.

Perhaps the most frightening thing of all is that this may prompt his father to suddenly decide to seek residency and that is something I would move to Australia to avoid.

Saturday

Up too early for my liking on a Saturday but my ten to 9 I had make it back to bed as Charlie was watching his latest DVD delivery from Lovefilm. Dozed on and off for an hour or so and then jumped in shower and got dressed.

Off to Tesco and we had lunch and got some bits and pieces. Back home and dogs refused to be walked. As well as not liking the rain, they do not like it when it is this hot either :)

Charlie did some more stamp stuff, played on his laptop and other stuff and I retreated upstairs to laze about on my bed reading magazines. My dad bought round some books for me to read, always welcome and went through some of Charlie's stamps with him too. We couldn't find the triangular one to show him which was a shame as it's nicely different.

Charlie made Millies style choc chip cookies whilst I did some more research on the new shopping cart and some other work related stuff and he played outside for ages. That trampoline really is the best thing I have ever bought.

Dinner was Charlie's home made fish pie ala Jamie O and then I watched Nights in Rodanthe. Beautiful scenery, good film but so sad, I cried.

Ikea, stamps and crates

So Tuesday was Ikea day and I came away a very happy lady. Didn't manage to get any curtains for my bedroom as they now make them 10 million cm long and expect you to hem them yourself to the required length - hem them? Are they mad?! However, I did manage to get the lovely white storage boxes I wanted so overall was very happy.

I can't remember what we did on Wednesday but I do know Charlie didn't do his normals, or anything much for that matter.

Thursday we went to Oxford with my mum. I still can't get over how many people are constantly at the shops and not at work. It was easily as bad as a normal Saturday and apart from a couple of groups of Brazilian school kids, they weren't many tourists.

Yesterday was just work and boring stuff. Finally managed to get the picking/packing software to do everything it actually needs to do which will save L SO much time. Also got given a CV of someone whom would like to apply for the part timer position so that is a relief as the dregs of society have been the only ones to apply so far. Would you give a job to someone who wrote "ere u go" in an email applying for a job? That was ALL they wrote too!

Finally gave in and went to the pet shop to get a crate for overnight use. Dogs taken to it well and no accidents this morning thank god, so all worked like I knew it would.

The next few weeks are going to be a bit manic with interviewing and working intensely with a developer to map out the new stock control & business admin system web app. It's going to be a huge undertaking but hopefully when it is all set up it will save hours and hours of work each week and mean that everything is now automated.

Charlie has been manically doing stuff with his stamps. I am sick to the teeth of hearing about them already - really not that interesting to me!

Boring Monday

Yesterday was fairly boring. Had planned to go to Ikea in Milton Keynes but decided it wasn't worth the rush to be back in time to get dinner done before taking Charlie to Karate so went into the warehouse instead after lunch and planned to go to Ikea on Tuesday instead.

Did various bits and pieces at the warehouse, the first of 15 or so new brands ordered at Spring Fair has arrived now so I played with the toys for a bit and put them all back in the boxes. We ran out of shelving ten minutes after we moved into the new warehouse even though I had bought/acquired 20 new racks!

Kicked my mums old PC as it still won't work, it's not even a year old yet and I am desperate to have a separate PC in my office at the warehouse so I can actually do some work when I'm there rather than having to wait for L to finish with the other PC. Bah!

Went home via Staples where I picked up some new folders, new paper trimmer & hole punch. Messed about with the dogs whilst Charlie finished his work and made a rather lovely curry for dinner, even if I do say so myself.

Took Charlie to Karate and went to Morrisons and had cake - yum. Charlie had another good lesson, he is really enjoying Karate, just needs his Gi now. Watched The Apprentice final online and found myself disagreeing with SAS. Yasmina is excellent and I am glad she won but no-one has yet matched the awesome selling power of the Badger!

Reorganised all the household manuals into the new folders I bought at Staples and then crawled into bed at 2am.

Sunday Sunday

I woke really early on Sunday and listened to the unbelievable amount of rain coming down. Part of the back garden was actually a pond, so much water sitting there that you couldn't see the grass! The dogs did not want to go out and had to be physically put outside to relieve themselves. Poor sods just stood there and shivered! Westies and rain do not go together it would seem.

Luckily by 9.00am the rain had stopped so we turfed them out again whilst we had a late breakfast and then we went into town. I bought a colour printer/all-in-one from Tesco and some more bits for my dad's Fathers Day hamper and a book each for my mum and dad for their Christmas hampers and we got some dog toys and a box for Charlie's stamp stuff in InStore.

We came home and did more DVD watching and Charlie also went on his computer for a bit and read some of his sailing magazines.

I tidied my office which was drowning in paperwork and then did a few minutes of accounts work and began to seriously evaluate a new stock control system and a couple of new shopping carts.

Had fantastic gourmet sausages for dinner which we got at the Blenheim Palace Arts, Crafts & Summer Tastes show and then more DVD watching and bed.

Plodding along happily

Charlie was too exhausted to make it to Karate on Thursday night so we watched a film together instead and laughed at Megan's adorable Yoda ears.

Yesterday we had decided not go to Blenheim Palace and instead we went into town to open Charlie a bank account at Barclays, partly so it is easy for me to transfer instantly available funds to him and partly so he can have an ATM card (at 11!!) which means I don't have to sign withdrawal slips and he isn't restricted to opening hours at banks/building societies to gain access to his money.

Before we left, we counted up his money and filled out his cash book that he bought a while ago now, ready to start to keep a detailed account of what he has and what he spends. He has been increasingly more interested in all the spreadsheets and spending book that I keep all details in. Mine are fairly complex, with different sections for all types of different spending, groceries, meals out, repeat purchases, dogs, etc etc and I explained that at the moment he doesn't need something like that, but when he is older and has a home of his own then it's a good idea so you can keep a tight grip on your budget.

Bank account duly opened and his £8.27 worth of coins paid in, I then handed over the £10 that I owed him and we went off to the Farmers Market where he bought some organic brie. Had lunch and then I found a cookshop which I had never noticed before and managed to spend a not so small amount of money on things I needed which included a jam jar which will eventually contain a Christmas present. I like to be prepared early.

Also found a deli and Charlie got some olives in there and then we went to WH Smiths to try and find some stamp hinges. A disappointed little boy as they had none and he was beating himself up for forgetting to buy them in London in the stamp shop on Wednesday.

Found some bits in various shops for the start of my mum's Christmas hamper, mainly travel type things for all their various holidays.

Popped into Thorntons to buy some bits for my dad's Fathers Day hamper and then to Clintons to find a gift box to act as the hamper and some tissue paper. Charlie got me a little selection of chocolates from Thorntons although he was nearly not allowed to choose a Peach Melba choc as it had alcohol in. The girl serving thought I was too young to be his mum and believed him to be alone in the shop :)

Home and we unpacked everything and I started to assemble my dad's hamper and found some cellophane and ribbon on ebay so ordered some of that too.

Had dinner - Charlie made Jamie Olivers fish pie, then Anna from next door came round and we all walked the dogs.

I did some more knitting - my mum's scarf for Christmas, whilst watching tv and then collapsed into bed.

Time to start anew

Our almost four week Florida holiday in January led to me making a lot of big decisions concerned with turning our family life around and trying to make everything better. Six months on from that and I have managed to complete the first 5 major changes on my list, which were all business related and included hiring and firing staff, renting a warehouse and drastically reducing my working hours.

All of the five changes have made a dramatic difference to our quality of life and have opened the door to allowing the non-business changes to start now.

This week, rather neatly for me, started on the 1st of a month and I have taken it as holiday from work, meaning that all I have done is 15 minutes of banking and accounts each morning. Charlie and I planned a so-called "staycation" and have been/are, doing/going somewhere every day. Now that we have two dogs, this has taken some planning but has all so far worked out well. This week is the start of spending more time together too which has been desperately needed.

On Monday we left the house at 8.30am to make it to Bicester Avenue in time for opening at 9am. First stop was Hobbycraft so that I could buy some wool and needles (I am making some Christmas presents this year) and some craft glue and silver & gold gel pens. Charlie was looking for a particular craft kit but couldn't find what he wanted, so we will have to try John Lewis in Milton Keynes next I think. Next stop was Lakeland as I needed an 8" springform pan to make cheesecake, an oil mister so I can stop using chemical ridden Fry Light, and Charlie bought some Kendal Mint cake. Off to the huge garden centre where we perused but didn't buy anything and then onto Bicester Village Designer Outlet for some lunch and a small spot of browsing - didn't see anything I liked though, most disappointing!

Back home and took the dogs for a long walk and then it was time to get ready for Karate. Whilst Charlie was there I went to Tesco and bought a few groceries we needed, although I am not cooking at all this week due to us being on "holiday", we are eating out of the freezer and enjoying all the homemade meals I froze two weeks ago. Cottage pie tonight which was lovely.

On Tuesday we walked the dogs in the morning and then Charlie did some organising/cataloging of his stamps. After lunch we went to Wigginton Wildfowl & Wildlife Sanctuary and spent a very pleasant hour or so there, enhanced by a nice ice cream. At the end (which is always Charlie's favourite part) he got to cuddle a chick, a gosling and a baby gerbil. The chick was adorable and falling asleep as Charlie stroked it and the gosling was desperate to fly with its tiny little wings. We watched and enjoyed Bedtime Stories when we got back.

Yesterday/Wednesday, we went to London. I hired a dog sitter for the day so we could come back as late as we wanted and that was great. Up early at 6.45am and Charlie leapt in the shower and then dealt with the dogs before we left for the station at 8.30am. First stop was the Stanley Gibbons shop on The Strand as Charlie had been desperate to go here for a while. We went first so I could get it over and done with. We walked down The Strand and wandered around Covent Garden for a bit and then took the tube over to the British Museum. We ate our picnic lunch outside as the picnic room is only for schools during term time (ridiculous and I am going to complain!) It was Charlie's first time there and both of us were really quite disappointed. The highlight for both of us was seeing the Rosetta Stone and I was really excited to see the Cyprus room but it was incredibly, well, crap frankly.

I hadn't slept well the night before and was incredibly tired after getting up at 6.45 instead of my usual 7.30am so we retreated across the road to Starbucks and had smoothies and shared a cinammon swirl. I was actually falling asleep waiting for Charlie to finish his frapachino.

We went into a coin and notes shop a few doors down which was also really quite interesting and then walked back down Great Russell Street and then all the way down Charring Cross Road, stopping in a few bookshops here and there and then we went into the Chinese supermarkets in Chinatown as we didn't have time to do that last year. At 3.45 we decided to go into the Trocadero as Charlie need the bathroom and on the spur of the moment decided to watch Night at the Museum 2 in the cinema there. We enjoyed it, not as good as the original but still funny, particularly the monkeys.

Back to Chinatown for a great meal in our favourite Chinese restaurant there and we were home just after 9pm.

Today I had a lie-in as I was exhausted - I think I am getting old now. We had decided on a so-called "slob" day, so this morning Charlie has watched a Spongebob film and is now watching Season 2 of The Simpsons - I do adore Lovefilm! Before that he was putting his stamps into his new stock book he bought at Stanley Gibbons yesterday, apparently both the dogs are scared of the tweezers!

Charlie has Karate again tonight and tomorrow I think we are going to Blenheim Palace if we think we can get there and back and see it all in 4 hours. Obviously it's only a 15/20 minute drive but it's a big place and the grounds are huge!